turning into your mother

Mother’s Day is fast approaching.

This is an opportunity for hardworking mothers everywhere to receive thanks for their sterling efforts raising the next generation to say please and thank you, wipe their own noses and bottoms, and eat their peas using cutlery, not their fingers.

Depending on the ages of any children you possess, you may be sufficiently lucky to receive any of the following:

  1. Tat from Clintons or similar that may have been slobbered over lovingly chosen by your toddler, but is equally likely to have been grabbed at random carefully selected by your loving partner. (‘Ooh, a Peppa Pig mug that says ‘Best Mummy Ever – Oink Oink’; thank you, darling! And how clever of you to make it a one-off limited edition mug by pre-placing a chip in the handle. Did you do that before or after Daddy took it to the till?’)
  2. Tat they have made themselves at school / playgroup / other fun AND educational establishment. Your level of sentimentality and their ability to glue sequins to paper plates in a semi-coherent fashion (is this particular masterpiece depicting a human face? an animal? a microwave oven?) will determine the success or otherwise of these gifts.
  3. Flowers / chocolate / wine / slippers. Delete as applicable according to their age and your own.
  4. Books.

Now, if you’re reading this, then the chances are good that, like me, while you’d appreciate any of the above because it’s a present from your little darling/s, what you’d really like is something from category 4. (Though I’ll admit to being quite partial to category 2 as well. But it is a truth universally acknowledged that when receiving a book you don’t have to risk causing stroppy offence and an hour long meltdown when you exclaim how delighted you are to receive a beautifully designed coaster only to discover that the item in question is actually a tiny square plate. Obviously.)

Whether you’re hoping for a biography of Robbie Williams or would prefer the latest Jilly Cooper escapade (ooh-er, Vicar!), most mothers are forced by necessity to possess a sense of humour, even if they are also regularly forced to mislay it, (“No, I said DON’T poke your sleeping sister with that very pointy stick!”) so here’s a few Mother’s Day treats you might wish to consider if you have a bookish mother:

1. Hurrah for Gin by Katie Kirby (mummy blogger)

The realities of mothering babies and very young children explained and illustrated with a liberal dose of swearwords and a sprinkling of gin. Hilarious.

image

Full review can be found here.

2. How it Works: The Mum (Ladybirds for grown-ups)

Traditional sepia images coupled with entertaining captions. It’s a bit like a bunch of humorous mothers’ day cards all added together to make a book, but funnier.

The Mum How it works

3. Mills’s & Boon Modern Girl’s Guide for Turning into your Mother by Ada Adverse

As above but organised in an A-Z format. Equally entertaining and, as this book is actually number 5 in the M&B Modern Girl’s Guide series, I would be quite happy to receive any of the others this Mother’s Day. (*hint hint*)

4. Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops / More Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops by Jen Campbell

Does exactly what it says on the tin. Ever wanted to hear the kinds of daft things people say then they step into a bookshop? Look no further. Genuinely very funny.

Reviews are here and here.

5. The Bookshop Book by Jen Campbell

Ok so this is definitely one for the proper book / bookshop enthusiast, but it is a lovely collection of descriptions of bookshops and other bookish bits and pieces.

'The Bookshop Book' by Jen Campbell

‘The Bookshop Book’ by Jen Campbell

Reviewed here.

So there you have it. Five (OK, yes, I know, six) entertaining books you might like to buy to thank the woman who had to bring you into the world, manage your delightful toddler tantrums and just generally put up with and love you for however many years you’ve been sharing the planet.

What book would you buy or recommend for the mother(s) in your life?

My mum and me: two stripey bookaholics.

My mum and me: two stripey bookaholics.

Many thanks to the publishers and publicists for providing me with a copy of ‘The Mills&Boon Modern Girl’s Guide to Turning into Your Mother’.